Relationships with a problem

Relationships with a problem

Many people wonder, when an emotional relationship starts to have problems if love has a limited duration. There are many popular sayings and proverbs about this, but does love really end? How can a romantic relationship last longer? Is there really a predisposition for a relationship to be short-lived?

Dr. Liliya Korallo, a specialist in clinical psychology and coaching, is a trainer at ISEP, where he taught several seminars on ‘Love and couple relationships, and helps us to understand, in the summary of his interview, some misconceptions on this subject an also explained the average length of bpd relationship

couple compatibility

Faced with the popular saying that opposites attract and that a relationship is the union of compatible people who complement each other, Dr. García Huete indicates that “in addition to biological, hormonal, chemical aspects … there are personality, intelligence and other variables that allow us to predict whether you are more or less compatible. The more similar are more compatible”.

Throughout our lives we establish relationships with many couples, even looking at the couples around us, our friends and acquaintances, we can find relationships that we wouldn’t bet on for a long time , but that surprisingly last ten years or more.

How long will a relationship last?

It is very important to differentiate between two types of love: love / passion and love / stable coexistence. Although it cannot be considered exact, because there are factors that are very difficult to control and predict, there are studies with which Dr. García Huete indicates that “if it is just passionate love, the duration is no longer than 3-4 years “On the opposite side, where not only sexual attraction is the basic pillar of the relationship, but also the love of coexistence and responsible love, “the relationship can be extended indefinitely.”

In addition, within responsible love, there are values ​​and beliefs that are of great importance, for example, looking after the children in a time of crisis, staying together with the couple to reduce the economic problems of living alone, staying together to avoid the feeling of loneliness etc. The truth is, a relationship can survive without love.

How to solve relationship problems

In either of the two types of relationship, although less so in the first type, where normally the loss of sexual attraction leads to the end of the relationship, it is usually not a mutually agreed decision, and it is one of the two parties who decides who wants to end the relationship. .

Of course, it’s different to leave the other person than the fact that you’re the one who leaves and usually, the one who leaves is because you think it’s better to end the relationship. But if you’re the one left, you’ll have to work through the loss and structure a new life plan.

If the relationship is over, going to a therapist can help reduce the distress and speed up the change to a better situation. If everything hasn’t already been said, a timely consultation reduces the levels of conflict and avoids what is more frequent: seeking help when the conflict is long and intense.